I’m on Facebook since September 2008, even in my wildest dreams i never thought that something called “Above, Beyond and within Facebook” exists. One day I read this name in some daily print media, out of curiosity started to dig around what exactly it does. And the outcome was a surprise and I was like holy crap, WTF?

Above, beyond and within Facebook is an investigating group limited to Facebook to spy around every one you wanna have control on(only if they have a Facebook account). One should give a standing ovation to the Guy who  cracked this opportunity to start business.

Lemme brief you how it works,(these names and instances are real ones just name in location ) courtesy : ouchmytoe
lets assume that a  girls parents visiting a private detective firm titled  ‘Above, beyond and within Facebook’ and having a conversation such as this:
“We are planning to have our girl married off to a boy from Bangalore.”
“Sure, Let me know how we can help you”.“The boy’s name is Prashant Saxena. And we want to find out if he is a good fit for our innocent daughter.”
“Hmm…do you know his Facebook ID?”
“Yes…our daughter has already started chatting with him.
His ID is: prashant.saxena.”“
And his email ID in Facebook?”
“His email ID is prashant.saxena@gmail.com”
“Thank you. Consider your job done. We will need at least 15 days. If we find him not good for your daughter, we will not just give you the proof of his past but also generate proof in the present.”
“How much will this investigation cost us?” The cost conscious lady of the house will speak up.
“Madam, just think about it for a while. How much will you be willing to give to ensure your daughter has a good married life?”
I won’t go into how much these detective agencies will charge the hapless parents, but they would make a killing for sure.
And once the parents exit the scene, one young trainee will be put on the job. He will immediately use one of his Girl IDs and send a friend request to Prashant.Saxena. Being already deprived of Friend Invites from girls, the poor Prashant will immediately accept it and fall into the trap.
Side Note: It would be great to find out what percent of the total friend invites sent out in Facebook every day are sent out by girls. I wouldn’t be surprised if it is only 1-2%. I am sure 98% of the Friend requests are sent out by the men.
I believe that If there is a girl out there, the men will find her out and send her the request.The young trainee will then go thro’ Prashant Saxena’s life history on Facebook and find out that he has changed his relationship status with different girls at least 3 times in the last four years. Based on the status updates and the comments, the young Trainee will also form a report on the kind of relationships Prashant Saxena has had with these three girls.With the report in hand, he will go to his reporting manager to discuss the future action plan.“Sir, Prashant Saxena has had three girl friends in the last four years. And they were all very intense relationships. Here is the report.”The trainee’s reporting manager will go thro’ the report and finally look up and say: “This is proof of the past. We also need to prove that he hasn’t changed. Start chatting with him and get some proof of his intentions.”

“Will do sir. Just so you are aware I will be using either Priya Dixit’s or Neha Gupta’s profile for this assignment.”
“Sure. As you wish. You my man! Or should I say girl?!”

After the go ahead from his reporting manager the trainee will get onto the task of exposing Prashant’s present intensions.

This is how his initial chat conversations with Prashant start:

Priya Dixit: Hi Prashant
Prashant Saxena: Hi Priya, sorry but do I know you?
Priya Dixit: Hmmm….does that matter?
Prashant Saxena: Obviously not. It doesn’t matter but it helps.(In such instances, a man is forced to take this stance. How many times in a lifetime does a man get a Hi from a girl anyway?)
Priya Dixit: You don’t know me. But I know you. I studied in the same college as you.Prashant Saxena: Is it? How come we never met?
Priya Dixit: I was scared to approach you. You were so popular.(Who doesn’t want to hear that he/she was popular in college)
Prashant Saxena: That I was. What did you study there?
Priya Dixit: I did BE Computer Science
Prashant Saxena: Wow. Where do you stay?(For a man the territory is important. If there are little chances of meeting in person he won’t waste his time)
Priya Dixit: I stay in Mangalore. And I know you stay in Bangalore….your FB profile says so.                                                                                                                                 Prashant Saxena: Yes, I stay in Bangalore. Smart girl.(A well-trained man knows that girls like to be called smart & beautiful)
Priya Dixit: Thanks. I was home alone and was getting bored so thought I might as well gather the courage to buzz you. Hope I am not disturbing you.
Prashant Saxena: No…no…not at all. In fact, I myself am bored.(The logs in Facebook servers are proof that a man has never been too busy for a girl)
Priya Dixit: Thanks. You are a nice person.                                                                Prashant Saxena: Thanks. Is that your real profile pic? You look pretty.
Priya Dixit: Yes of course. Why would I use somebody else’s pic?
Prashant Saxena: No just checking.
Priya Dixit: So…what else?
Prashant Saxena: What do you mean bored?
Priya Dixit: Ever since I have broken up with my boy friend three months back, life has become dull. No thrills.
Prashant Saxena: Ah! You have come to the right person.
Priya Dixit: What???!! What do you mean?(Real girls have to do this. After years of chatting a man starts suspecting if the girl comes easy)
Prashant Saxena: Was just saying that I know Bangalore region in and out. So you have come to the right person.
Priya Dixit: Better. I thought you were meant something else…you know what I mean.(During investigations, it is the job of the trainee to lure the man into the trap by giving enough hints)
Prashant Saxena: I know what you mean. But I generally go slow.
Priya Dixit: How slow?
Prashant Saxena: As slow as the girl wants.The chats continue for around ten days and in these ten days Prashant Saxena starts feeling that he has known the girl for ages. And when in this comfort zone he commits the blunder.After fifteen days, the Detective agency sends its report to the girl’s parents. This is how the report looks.

Same day Prashanth Saxena’s parents get a call from the girl’s parents that they aren’t interested in pursuing the relationship. Prashanth is informed the moment he is back from the office.

Bingo!!!!

Yesterday I tweeted(it’s nothing new though as i bug my followers daily) something which I thought was funny and my friend replied back saying seriously, are you sure?. I was like what what hell, I tweeted all right and went back to recheck my last tweet and did multiple times. i realised there is guilt involved in case if you commit even a minute mistake in your tweets or status updates.

We’ve all committed a social gaffe, such as saying something in the heat of the moment that we immediately wished we could take back. Now those gaffes, when shared on today’s social media platforms, can stick around to haunt you.

In fact, a recent poll, it is revealed that approximately 25 percent of people have tweeted or posted status on FB abt something they regret, and approximately the same number of people said they have posted something on a site that they never would have said to someone’s face.So while there are no official “rules” for using Twitter or any social networking site, we thought it might be helpful to review a few tips for projecting a more professional image, regardless of whether you use it for work or personal purposes. After all, you never know just who is watching:Have a goal. Decide what you want to get out of having an account before you set it up.

There’s a fine line between pushing the envelope and pushing the limits of good taste. Take your followers into consideration, but—above all—use common sense.Think before you tweet. This is definitely worth repeating. And when in doubt, wait. Give yourself a window for cooling off when you may be emotional.

Got any Twitter best practices? Or pet peeves? 

I myself used to troll around Amir’s Satyameva jayate just to prove my Humor’s greatness all these days since it was aired for the first time. I used to fight with friends on networking sites despite knowing I’m saying all shit. It was because of pure ego and basically I’m hallmark Indian, who is reluctant to embrace change fast(Incidentally one of my friend even pointed out this). After all still there is bit of good many inside me with emotions and unprogrammed. I my self thought about that function at times(Majority of time my mind flirts with these kinda stuff) and what Amir trying to say(let the matter of whether he is fit or unfit to host Satyameva Jayate be aside). How many fit people tried something like that?  Angelina Jolie is a UN goodwill ambassador today and have adopted kids from almost all races. wasn’t she a Seductive playgirl of Hollywood(just like Lindsay Lohan) a few yrs back??? People do change(of course with exceptions like me).

Every time the new Aamir Khan TV show comes on, it divides people on twitter into two bitter groups. Although, that is not saying much. People on twitter are usually waiting for an opportunity to chastise each other, with each trending topic being just a small, disposable cog in the wheel. Every issue is just another way to prove that you are right, and those people opposing you, those straw men and women with their stupid arguments, are nothing but the scum of the earth. On twitter as in real life, everything is defensible, even the ‘band’ Creed, which all sane people agree is worse than a hundred Hitlers. (For those not familiar with this unit of measurement, a hundred Hitlers are equal to one Akshay Kumar movie).

One group wants to mock everybody for their naiveté (I belong to this group) and the other one(like my friends, who happens to be fans of Aamir Khan) wants everybody to shut up, leave their cynicism for once, and give the man a chance to heal the world and make it a better place for you and for me and the entire human race. On one hand there are people who think that this is another publicity hound doing things to make himself feel better while hogging the limelight; on the other we have people who think he is finally highlighting issues we refuse to talk about and that he should be applauded for doing this instead of hosting yet another Bollywood circle jerk.

One of the chief criticisms of the show is that the host takes a large amount of money to perform his duties. A lot of people seem to believe that a person with good intentions would do good things for free. However, anyone who has ever worked on even a small welfare project will tell you that volunteers who work for free are the most erratic.

Meanwhile, Aamir Khan has been turned into yet another savior we were waiting for. The old ‘at least he is doing something!’  symptom of overcompensation for ignoring our problems. And that something instead of being a placeholder becomes a substitute for doing anything. You don’t actually have to do things anymore; the mere fact that something is being done is good enough.

You can’t order “good leaders” on the internet. You have to make them(As my good friend said). We have to use the cynical a**holes who currently lord over us and get away with bloody murder (because they can!). We have to hold their feet to the fire. These people have no core and will go anywhere the blowing wind takes them. If we want better governance, if we want better law & order, if we want better management of our national resources, then we need to make our so called leaders do that. There are no free lunches. You don’t get things because you are entitled to them. You get them only if you fight for them.

Sorry Aamir at times i have found fault in you to prove myself a point in front of others.

God bless……!!!

There were two youngsters in their wrong side of teenage named Romeo and Juliet and they belonged to rival families. Romeo is a Bruno Mars kinda guy, who would jump off a terrace and practically will do anything for his girl. Other side Juliet blue eyed girl who believed in nothing but her man, call her as a Taylor Swift of those days. They were passing days with holding hands singing lines like
“You and I walking on a Non  fragile line,

I haven’t knew this all this time.

Oh, I’m holding my breath,

won’t lose you ever”.

That’s the intro, let’s close our eyes. Flashback starts…..

As in all love stories purple days do end, Juliet came running into Romeo with pouring eyes.

Juliet : Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone. I’ll be waiting all there’s left to do is run.You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess.It’s a love story baby just say yes.

Romeo : baby, you are throwing pebbles, i love you too,  my daddy said stay away from Juliet and I was crying on the staircase. Begging him please don’ do this to me, i can’t do it to her. So, So I sneaked out to the garden to see you,We keep quiet ’cause we’re dead if they knew,So close your eyes and let’s escape this town for a little while.

Juliet : Romeo, save me and try to tell me how to feel,This love is difficult, but it’s real. just tel me Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess.

Romeo : Listen babe, i’d go through all this pain to get you. Let them beat me till i’m numb.

He bent down and pulled out a ring and asked her to marry him.

“And said, marry me Juliet, my pretty thangggg.
You’ll never have to be alone
I love you and that’s all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress”.

Juliet: Excuse me?! Pretty thangg?! I’m no pretty thangg!

Romeo: Well. I mean. You’re not completely ugly or awful… You look a lot better with the lights off.

Juliet: Ugh!

Romeo: Sorry, I think you are a pretty thangggg, you’re wrong, when you say that you aren’t. You really do look okay sometimes. When you put on that like red mouth stuff. And wear like those fancy corset thangs.

These lines with humor were enough to erase their love till death of many years to erase off from the Juliette’s Cache memory.

Juliet(Changed her track): I got tired of waiting,Wondering if you were ever will come around. My faith in you is fading. It’s all over.

Romeo become traumatic and killed her and self. To avoid tempo tantrums  between the two rival families authorities said it was suicide.

“Romeo loved Juliet,
Juliet felt the same
When he put his arms around her
He said Juliet, baby, you’re my flame
Thought gives fever but She doesn’t…”- VJXIXX

PS: It’s just a parody at seasonal lovers with the name change, i have no idea what real Romeo and Juliet love story says and I haven’t seen DiCaprio’s Romeo + Juliette too.

After this week’s switchover to a new protocol called IPv6, there are a whole lot of IP addresses on the Internet.

How many more?

Just one day after the world wide web made a permanent and forever change on Wednesday, yesterday night some TV  reported the Internet now has 340 trillion trillion trillion unique addresses. That’s 340 undecillion.

We knew the switch from IPv4 to IPv6 would make a bunch of new addresses available. But this is a growth of 79 octillion (billion billion billion)(I have flicked these count names straight from the TV and still counting the no of zero’s it might have).

But i have no frames of reference for a number that large, so  i have put it into context for a moment.

340 trillion trillion trillion is:

With IP addresses now depleted, the Internet Society is leading the launch of IPv6 to allow the web to continue growing.

Without adopting IPv6, people surfing the web will have to go through a transitional gateway before entering a non-updated site using IPv4, making the experience slower. On launch day Wednesday, website owners are encouraged to permanently enable IPv6 — the next generation of Internet protocol.

IPv6 is the single largest upgrade in the history of the Internet. It’s not a small decision for the major content providers to turn on IPv6 and leave it on.

“Going forward, Internet users will be forced to go through transition gateways to reach businesses that do not similarly upgrade by adding IPv6 connectivity, with the result being slower connections and services for their customers”,  ” The good news is that done properly, Internet users globally will not notice any significant difference in their daily lives.”

Hundreds of organizations are making the switch — Google, Facebook and Time Warner Cable, to name a few.

Internet Service Providers will be able to use IPv6 to connect new customers to the web, while existing customers are unlikely to notice a change. Companies and websites should speak with their ISP or hosting company to get IPv6 turned on their existing Internet connection.