Friends are of two types – the Jewelry Type and the Clothes Type.

The Clothes Type friends lose color, fade away, grow small etc with time. While the Jewelry type friends remain inert…they don’t react…don’t age. They don’t lose color, fade…in short you don’t out grow them.

Fortunately, till now all of my friends whom I believe are part of my warm circle have been jewels. This weekend unexpectedly I met my friends in Mysore. It was a roller coaster, bike journey in the midnight and unexpected bike breakdown of the bike in the extreme interiors of the jungle Near Nanjangud.  Having homemade Chicken in the midnight along with military Scotch is an exotic and Royale any day.

When we meet friends the adult inside us becomes infant, thorough professional who sits inside a cubicle becomes wild.  Things we speak may sound logic less at times but are most enjoyed conversations. These Conversations may be food, career, apparels, gadgets, vehicles and most common thing “LOVE”. In a group of my friends who are committed and loyal to their loves I’m the odd one out. I always find it “Not my kinda thing”. Yet, we spoke about it for most part of the time we spent together.

I had read somewhere which goes like this

“Love is: finding her pimples adorable, her mistakes pardonable, her nagging tolerable, her bills affordable and her love immeasurable”.

Is love that blind?

Or is it just another topic like eternity and creation that humans will never grasp the concept cause of its depth.

I never liked the word as I had witnessed all the dramatic aftermaths it can bring in very early age,

Never believed it possible and doubted true thing exists,

Matter of fact, it pissed me off when I saw a couple holding hands (Not out of frustration or also not for not having my own),

Or a romantic movie with a happy ending,

Because the truth is “happy ending” and “love” doesn’t go hand in hand, because you rarely find love and happy endings, you either find one of the two but rarely both together.

I see people that fall in love as actors that get into character and come right out soon as something happens.

Not me……..Not now…..maybe. When I was younger and I didn’t understand the difference between love and infatuation, when I used to get lost in the fantasy of boy meets girl, they fall in love, Get married n blah blah blah….or when I thought there was someone for everyone and when you found that right person you’ll know …..Maybe just maybe I could have believed in love if It was that simple, but it aint because even if you searched and find that right person, chances are if the person isn’t taken, feelings won’t be mutual.

People spend most of their lives searching for love, some never find it, some pretend to, others just settle for the lesser things like comfort, security, stability, trust, money…Etc

Some do find love but are too scared to believe in it, cause of past experiences or what they  heard, some don’t search, it finds them, but since they never wanted it to start with, they don’t know what to do with it, so they discard it, some just think it won’t work, since they tried it a million times and failed, so it’s not worth searching for, so they settle for one of the lesser things, get lost in it and believe at a point that it’s love.

So forgive me if I don’t believe in love anymore, I’m simply tired of the never ending search for perfection, even when we know it isn’t possible to find

My heart has been broken so many times and mended so many times(as I have huge list of crushes Charlize theron, Scarlett Johnson, Megan Fox, Mila Kunis and few other girls), that another might leave a hole in me, a hole that could finish me.

Humans are known for their imperfection but I met one that was the closest thing to perfection for me.

One that made me doubt my belief

One whose smile made the sun looks brighter. One I couldn’t get out of my head, one whose picture was permanently at the back of my eyelids, One who I loved talking to even if the only way I could sometimes was thru an argument…this is a strange feeling, I don’t understand it

And my friends don’t seem to either.

Is this how all those couples that held hands felt, was this the same feeling those people in the movies felt…….or was I just getting into character…would my feelings change the minute someone said CUT or will this change the minute we have something ,are the feelings mutual or is this just me

It’s confusing when you don’t have the answers to these questions and it’s even more confusing when the other person doesn’t

Can I do this?

Could this be love?

This could either make or break me.

I guess I’ll never find out

If I don’t try……. NEVER ENDING STORY………